Sicko Read online

  After we grab my dorm details from the snobby girl in the main foyer, we make our way up the stairs and find my room. Royce’s friends obviously all wanted to stay downstairs. Bar one. His name is Gypsy and he has to be around the same age as me, or in between me and Royce. After his obvious perving at every girl, it was made clear exactly why he was here. To perv.

  “Sicko, your sister is hot. She has this whole, exotic thing going on about her.”

  I turn to face them both, my eyes cutting to Gypsy. Just when I’m about to cuss him out and tell him to go fuck himself, I look at him for the first time today. Young, light brown floppy hair, and a cheeky smile. He’s the boy next door in a leather motorcycle vest. I can imagine he would get more attention than he would give.

  “You’re not my type.” I turn back to my door, pushing my key in. “And who’s Sicko?”

  “We made sure that you have your own room…” Mom says, interrupting my question while pointing to the double bed.

  “How?” I ask, surprised.

  Mom shrugs. “We made sure.”

  My heart sinks. “Oh.” Of course. Money equals power, and the Kane’s have all of it.

  “Hey.” Royce’s hand comes to my chin, tilting my face up to his. “I’ll come check on you every weekend.”

  “Royce?” I murmur, even though his grip is so tight it’s making my lips push out.

  “What?” he asks, his eyes searching mine. This needs to stop. I hate him. He left me.

  “Really not necessary. I have Sloane here too, and Matty. I don’t need you petting me here like you did at home.”

  He laughs, stepping away. “You don’t know how I keep my pets now.”

  I raise my brows in challenge, my arms crossing in front of my chest. “And how is that?”

  He pins me with a simple stare. “I don’t.” Then his eyes go to Mom, his fake smile evident. “I’ll look after her.”

  Mom nods, pulling me in for one last hug. “Okay. I better head to the airport. I planned to spend the day with you but all that traffic delayed us.”

  “It’s okay, Mom. I love you,” I whisper, squeezing her tightly.

  “Love you too.”

  Before I started Stanford and when I told my parents that I’d be studying to get my medical degree, I half expected them to doubt me. A lot. But they didn’t. It was between this or political science. Politics was my plan B if I didn’t get into med. I knew I could also be great as a political consultant, but it wasn’t where my heart and passion burned. I’m thankful I got into med school, even if I know it’s going to be a long, tedious road, it’s still one I want to take.

  Mom leaves and I’m in the room alone with Royce and Gypsy.

  “Roy, I’m serious. You don’t need to be here.”

  He flops down onto my bed, leaning back onto his elbows. He’s god awfully more beautiful than I remember. His features are pretty, but then someone came along and cut all the hard edges into them. The tattoos only accentuate his personality. It is as though he was always meant to have the tattoos. His blue eyes roam my face, as his feather-like eyelashes fan out over his tight cheekbones. It’s not fucking fair. Why does he have to look the way he does? And Jesus fuck, he clearly has been working out since he left. He was always tall and lean, but the way the veins in his neck and arms swell to the surface of his skin tells me he takes training more seriously these days.

  “Ah, but I do.”

  “Why?” I ask, opening box one of six. I need to busy myself with something other than gawking at him. “Why do you care?”

  He seems to think over my words, his eyes scanning me up and down. “Because you’re in my city now, so it’s only fair. But here’s the deal…”

  I laugh. “I’m not making a deal with you, Royce.”

  “Oh, you will…” He smirks. “So, here’s the deal. You’re in my city now, and I have enemies. Bad ones. I don’t need them getting to you to get to me.”

  I roll my eyes, dropping the box onto the floor and sorting through the photos that I poured onto my bed. “Why do you care?”

  Instant. “I don’t. But I don’t have time to be saving you if you’re taken, and then I have to explain to mommy and daddy that their precious little good girl has been captured by bad men.”

  I scoff, my tongue running over my lip as I bring my eyes right to his. “Sorry, did you just say precious little good girl?” I know I should stop talking, but I’m too fired up. “I haven’t been a precious little good girl for about—hmm—” I pause, bringing my finger to my temples while basking in his silence. I think I hear Gypsy drop a “oh shit” in the background, but again, I’m too fired up to let this opportunity pass. “Four fucking years, Royce. And those bad men you speak of?” I grind my teeth, my lip curling up in a snarl while my eyes narrow. “Pretty sure I’ve seen worse. But sure thing, big brother.” I turn, bending over and picking another box up off the floor while turning to face him, dropping it onto the bed. “Whatever lets you sleep at night.”

  I would be proud of my comeback if the backstory wasn’t so fucking sad.

  He stands from my bed until he’s almost directly in front of me. “Check beneath your bed tonight, Duchess.” He leans down until his lips are near my ear. “Because I will be the monster lurking beneath it. Everywhere you go, I’ll be there. Who you talk to, I’ll know.” He leans back, his cold, emotionless eyes disregarding me as though I’m nothing but a cockroach needing to be stepped on. “And you’re wrong…”

  “How so?” I say, turning to watch him as he moves across my room, picking up my cell phone and punching something into it.

  He glares, tossing my phone at my chest. “You haven’t seen the worst, because that would have to come from me, and trust me when I say, I have guarded you from that side all your fucking life.” His hand is on the door handle as he pulls it open with Gypsy slipping beneath his arm and to the other side. “I’ve changed phone numbers. Fucking use it.” Then he slams my door harder than he made his reappearance into my life.

  It took me a couple hours to settle into my room before I got batshit bored and called Sloane.

  “Hey!” she breathes into the phone. “Are you here? Matty doesn’t get back until next week and I’m bored!”

  “Yes!” I give her my dorm details and then wait for her to come up.

  I still haven’t told her about Royce. I don’t really want to. One, because she had a massive crush on him when we were kids and two, I don’t know what it is that Royce is actually doing back in my life. It’s almost too good to be true. I can’t trust him the way I used to. He’s not the same boy anymore. Now, he feels calculated. Like a snake in the grass, waiting to strike.

  There’s a knock on the door, pulling me out of my Royce induced thoughts and I swing it open to Sloane and another girl. She has dark hair and slanted eyes; I’m guessing some sort of Asian background. But I could be wrong, so I won’t make that assumption out loud.

  “Yay!” Sloane pulls me in for a hug. I let her, even though she and I both know how much I hate my personal bubble being violated. “Wow, your dorm is so much nicer than mine!”

  “Yeah, I wish I had a bunk buddy though.”

  “Speaking of,” Sloane announces, gesturing to the girl beside her. “This is my new one. Jade, this is Nellie, Nellie, this is Jade.”

  Nellie nudges her head at me. I take in her appearance. Bright purple hair on the ends of dark roots and a very eccentric style of dress. Striped thigh-high socks, short leather miniskirt, and a strapless top, squashing her tits to the high heavens.

  “Hi…”

  “So.” Sloane slumps onto my bed. “How did the drive with your mom go? Is she finally okay with you being away from her?”

  “Ah,” I answer. “She is actually much better. The drive was fine, but then Royce showed up and it—”

  “—Wait!” Sloane stands abruptly from my bed. “Royce is back?”

  “Who’s Royce?” Nellie asks from behind me, fiddling with the photo I’ve alrea
dy placed on my dresser of the five of us on the boat when we were younger.

  “Um,” I start quickly, but before I can get a word in, Sloane has her palms pressed to my cheeks, yanking my attention back to her.

  “Tell me everything.”

  I whack her hand away. “Nothing to tell. He came home last weekend for his birthday and told us that he had been with a motorcycle club for the past four years.”

  “Oh my god…” Sloane drools, her mouth wide open. “Is he hotter than he was when we were younger?”

  “What? I’m not answering that. He’s my brother.”

  “—Foster brother, and we all know how he—”

  “Sounds like I need to meet him.” Nellie smirks, sitting on my bed. I don’t mention that I barely know her and that she most definitely should not be sitting on my bed, props to her confidence though. “What club is he with?” Nellie further asks.

  “What? Ah, I don’t remember.” I don’t want to tell them any more than I already have. Not that I care if they find him hot, just that I don’t want to be talking about him right now.

  “Can we change the subject?” I mutter, piling my long hair up into a high ponytail. “Like food. Where can we get food?”

  We find a small place off campus. It’s the typical greasy spoon diner, with gloss red leather seats, checked floors, and tired waiters. I slip into the booth and scan over the menu.

  “So what else has Royce been doing?” Sloane asks. I ignore her. I can’t do the song and dance to Royce’s tune today—or ever. When the waitress comes to our table, I smile up to her, thankful for the distraction. “I’ll have the double cheeseburger with extra bacon, please.”

  “Fine,” Sloane groans. “But we are going out this weekend. Right, Nellie?”

  Nellie nods. “Yep. There’s a spot I go to every weekend. We’ll pick Jade up.”

  I dive into my burger, ignoring their talks of what boys are what in the school. To say that I’m not interested is probably an understatement. My sex life is something I protect, so I zone out and dig into my fries.

  “Do you know where your classes are on Monday, Jade?” Nellie asks around her straw.

  “I think so.” I pop another fry in my mouth. Out of the corner of my eye, I see the door open, but I don’t pay it any attention. “I mean, I have the school map and all of my class numbers, so I’m guessing they won’t be hard to find.”

  I look to Sloane, whose eyes are over Nellie’s shoulder and on the new group who just sauntered in. I lean over to see who she is gawking at.

  “Sloane…” I nudge her with my shoulder. My friend is blatant when it comes to what she wants. The entire back section of the diner is now occupied with a group of guys. You can practically smell the testosterone from here. Of course Sloane would sniff out the school’s football team like a dog in heat.

  “Yes?” She bats her eyelashes at me, and when I look back at the group, I find a couple of them already watching us. Well, probably Sloane more than me. She’s the beautiful red-haired bombshell with great tits, and I’m the weird-looking brunette with creepy eyes. Sloane has always said that I’m completely oblivious when it comes to my appearance and that I’m every guy’s wet dream. I don’t buy it. She’s my best friend, of course she’s going to say that.

  Chuckling, I shake my head. “You are terrible.” I lazily scan the group, when one guy catches my eye who is watching me carefully. His scruffy blond hair reminds me of ancient ash and his dark eyes are like magnetic orbs, pulling me in. He has tanned skin, broad shoulders, and the face structure of a GQ model.

  He’s attractive. Actually, that’s an iniquitous understatement. He’s hot as fucking sin, and I’d gladly kneel at church on Sunday for devouring that. Instantly, I ignore my thoughts and the direction to which they went. I can’t afford to have crushes. Not now, not ever.

  “—Jade!” Now it’s Sloane’s turn to demand my attention.

  “Hmm?” I answer, bringing my drink to my lips.

  Sloane looks between me and the guy and then smirks. Zoning out on a hot guy isn’t such a bad thing, but when you have a best friend who likes to call you out on everything, it is.

  “Ah, I see. Well, don’t stop your eye fuck on my account…”

  Nellie looks over her shoulder, finally figuring out what we’re staring at. I notice she visibly stills, her face falling before she turns back to face me. “I wouldn’t even try. My sister knows them, and they’re not what they appear to be.”

  “Wasn’t going to.”

  Finishing up with our food, we all stand and make our way to the door. The whole time, (all of a few steps), I can feel eyes on us. It’s Sloane. She does this, and it drives me fucking insane. I hate going anywhere with her. Like a magnet, I turn toward them in passing, but my eyes find Ash Blond again and my heart speeds up in my chest. No smile, no frown, he’s simply observing me. I don’t know if it’s intimidating or turning me on, I settle for the first because again, I can’t afford to be turned on. The cold air slaps me across the face when we’re outside, treading down the stairs and making our way to Nellie’s beat-up Honda. It’s a small little hatchback that looks like maybe fourteen years ago, it would have been worth something. I said we could take my car, but Nellie insisted on hers.

  “So, my mom and dad are those gross parents who have been together for like, way too long…” Nellie addresses, for God knows why. “It’s actually so disturbing because they still make out at breakfast.”

  “Le sigh…” Sloane murmurs, pulling open the passenger door and sliding the seat forward for me to slip into the back. “I want that one day.”

  “Well,” Nellie mutters, clipping her belt on and starting the car—after a misfire. “You won’t get that from any of the guys in there…” Ah, so that’s where she was going.

  “You don’t like them much, huh?” I meant it as a joke, but as soon as it leaves my mouth, I hear the snark in my tone.

  “No,” Nellie confirms, taking us onto the highway. “I don’t.”

  “Why?” I ask, unable to stop myself.

  “Let’s just say it’s in your best interest to not go there.”

  Sunday, I spend the day gathering all of my books that I’ll need for Monday, which includes but is not limited to meal prepping. I love a good takeout and munch session with potato chips and chocolate, but my body can only survive on meat, vegetables, and carbs. Yes, I said carbs.

  I’m climbing into bed at the end of the day when my phone lights up on the bedside table. I reach for it aimlessly, knowing it will be Sloane. She’s probably drunk.

  “Hello?”

  “Jade…”

  Dread fills my body. “Yes?”

  “…I need you. Meet me downstairs now.”

  “I can’t. I ha—”

  “—Now.”

  “Okay,” I whisper, my voice dropping to a deathly level. After hanging up, I clutch the phone to my chest and lay there for a few seconds. I would never be free of this life. Shackled by his initials. I will never be free to live my life. He’s always made it very clear that I never will be free. I’ll always be indebted to him, and I’ll always have to make myself available to him.

  I fling the blanket off my body and tiptoe around my room like I would at home anytime I needed to sneak away.

  I grab my phone and flick off another text to him. Would you like me suited up? Chewing on my lip nervously, I wait on his answer.

  No.

  I choke on my breathing. Knowing he’s right downstairs waiting in his fancy SUV is enough to suck the life out of me. I quickly slip on some tight sweatpants and a tank before throwing on a hoodie and zipping up.

  Breathe in and out. You’ve done this thousands of times, Jade. Pull it together.

  I push my phone and dorm key into my pocket and make my way downstairs. I didn’t want to start my college year like this. I didn’t.

  It takes me one second to find his car idling near the curb. I walk straight for it and open the passenger door before sl
iding into the soft, warm leather. “Hello, James.”

  “Jade,” James growls, turning to face me. As soon as his eyes lock on mine, all the fear and uncertainty I felt moments ago dissipates. My shoulders square as power surges through my veins.

  I lick my lips. “I wasn’t expecting you here tonight.”

  His hand comes to my cheek, his thumb caressing across my lip where he tugs on it gently. “I can’t have my Bunny start her college year without a big bang.”

  I clear my throat, but vomit almost surfaces, so I force spit down my throat to contain it. I’m used to this. It has happened to me every single day almost immediately after Royce left. I don’t know why it started. I don’t ask and he doesn’t tell, mentally caged in a cell with no exit. But somewhere in those four years, things shifted. It turned into something more without anything additional on my part. I got used to it. The first time it happened, he snuck into my house, into my room. I remember the time because my clock flashed brightly on my bedside table. 3:05 a.m. I hate 3:05 a.m. now. He didn’t speak at first. His hand caressed my thigh from beneath the covers, his cold Rolex watch igniting goose bumps all over my flesh. He fucked me that night. Forced himself inside of me in one thrust. I yelped, but his hand slammed over my mouth to stop any more noise. I was shocked. I didn’t know what to do. I was fifteen years old, and up until that night, he meant something to me.

  Darkness welcomed me during a time that I needed to feel safe, now I bathe in it to keep me sane. Light doesn’t give a fuck about the damned, so with the damned, I stayed. I remember the colored dots that danced around the room as pain rippled between my thighs. He tore my walls apart with a single thrust, so I rebuilt them with the pain and blood that he took from me. He never spoke. I felt his damp cock press in and out of me, like a knife twisting and turning in an open wound. Tears poured out of my eyes, but he didn’t stop. Finally, he slowed enough for me to feel him pulse inside of me. He pushed himself up, extracting himself, and bent down between my thighs, kissing the blood from my now exposed and violated area.